So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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