I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
