Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
