its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Randomize
