Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
