You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
