If i come over, it means nothing
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
