nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
