At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
