Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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