is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
