This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
