I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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