What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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