Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
