Soap is not a condiment
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's paper in my vomit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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