would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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