I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Drake has all the answers
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
