i think i have two assholes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
