I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
