Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Shame is for Republicans.
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