Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
