Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
