My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
