yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Randomize
