I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
