Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
