Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
