there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize