Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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