ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
