I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
