I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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