So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
