nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
