Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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