my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
