I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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