is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
