I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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