It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
