The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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