How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
