Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How's work?
Spinning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
