Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize