Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
