Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
