why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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