ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
