lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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