theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize