Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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