It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
