Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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