i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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