Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
