Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
