It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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